7-24. The Dogs of War.

Kira, Damar, and Garak watch helplessly as their rebellion dies.

THE PLOT

Kira has rejoined Damar and Garak in time for a rendezvous with resistance fighters on Cardassia Prime. But the meeting is a trap, and the three find themselves beaming down just in time to witness Cardassians being massacred by Jem'Hadar forces. They manage to escape notice, and hide with Mila (Julianna McCarthy), the one-time housekeeper of Garak's Obsidian Order mentor. But trapped on a hostile world, they are helpless to act as they witness broadcasts of the destruction of Damar's entire rebellion.

Back on Deep Space 9, Quark receives a transmission from Zek. The old man has finally decided to step down as Grand Nagus. The communication is filled with static, but one message comes through loud and clear. Zek has settled on his successor - Quark!


CHARACTERS

Capt. Sisko: Near the end of the episode, Kasidy informs him that she's pregnant. Avery Brooks is wonderful here, shifting through a series of emotions ranging from worry to joy to embarrassment at having forgotten his "injection." As he reassures Kasidy, we can almost see him mentally picturing his future family, much as he painstakingly planned out his future house in Penumbra. Though joy seems to win out with Ben in the scene, I suspect the Prophets' warning is about to hit him hard.

Col. Kira: Another strong performance by Nana Visitor, who conveys Kira's terror of being captured by Cardassians during the opening ambush. There's a note of panic in her voice as she insists they have to get away, which fits perfectly with her background - Kira has seen firsthand what it is to be a prisoner of the Cardassians. Even when they are in hiding, her main thought is to escape from Cardassia, with Garak having to talk reason to her.

Quark: "I won't preside over the demise of Ferengi civilisation, not me! The line has to be drawn here. This far and no further!" Quark stands up for traditional Ferengi values - greed and exploitation - using the same words Picard used to rail against the Borg in First Contact. An inside joke for Trek fans, but it works because it fits perfectly with Quark's character. He has defended Ferengi society throughout the series, from his insistence to Sisko that Ferengi are nothing like humans - "We're better!" - to his disgust at his mother's wearing clothes and running businesses. He's on the wrong side... But there's a certain cockeyed dignity to his final, anti-heroic stand against progress.

Damar: This dour man was always an unlikely choice as a folk hero, and even he seems disconcerted at the divide between who he actually is and the legend building up around his name. Ultimately, the thirst he sees in his own people is what drives him to take up the ill-fitting mantle of rebel leader... And speaking of stirring speeches, Damar's heroic end speech is all the better for the sense that he'd rather not be the one giving it. He would rather be helping the resistance instead of leading it (Being Dukat's second-in-command was almost certainly his happiest time)... But there's no one else, and so he has to act to save his society from its demise.

Odo: In only one scene - But it's a good one, as he expresses his outrage at the Federation's tolerance of Section 31's actions in creating the Changeling disease. He acidly observes that Starfleet publicly deplores such tactics, but is happy enough to reap the benefits. He does promise Sisko that he won't reveal the cure to the Founders of his own accord. Still, the scene - which doesn't connect to any of this episode's story strands - is fairly obviously setting up his role in the finale.

Brunt: The final appearance of Liquidator Brunt (I'm going out on a limb and guessing he won't be featured in the finale). He spends most of the episode shamelessly brown-nosing presumed future Nagus Quark. He doesn't even pretend to deny it: "It's never too early to suck up to the boss." He's also the one who clues Quark into the reforms that have taken place on Ferenginar, including "wage benefits for the poor, retirement benefits for the aged, health care," and - most shocking of all - "the T word... taxes!" Jeffrey Combs is a delight as always, and it's a rare pleasure to get to see him play both of his recurring roles in the same episode (though, regretfully, the series appears set to end without ever putting Weyoun and Brunt in the same scene at the same time).


THOUGHTS

The Dogs of War is Avery Brooks' final episode as director, and it's a consequential one. The "A" plot, following Kira and Garak as they nudge Damar into a new kind of resistance, is terrific. The script, by Rene Echevarria and Ronald D. Moore, carries all the strengths of both writers, with sharp characterizations fusing with good dialogue and meaningful plot turns. We see the trio move from shock, to despair, to finally fighting back, and everything the characters do arises naturally from who they are. Brooks' greatest strength as a director has always been his ability to work with actors, and he gets great work from all of the cast.

That last is true of the "B" plot as well - Heck, even Ishka and Zek aren't annoying (in part thanks to being used sparingly). As someone who has often criticized the Ferengi episodes, I will admit to finding some enjoyment. The script offers some genuinely funny moments and even allows Quark a perverse dignity in his defiant stand for unbridled greed. There's just one problem: It belongs in a different episode!

There is a decent attempt to draw a parallel between Damar and Quark, two men standing defiant against changes that they see destroying their respective societies. But even so, the Cardassia plot and the Ferengi plot don't truly fit in the same show. And with the Ferengi plot occupying most of the screen time in the middle, it throws off the sense of jeopardy that should pervade Kira and Damar's story. I've said this about other episodes in the final ten, but I strongly feel that these two stories should have been seprated out into their own episodes.

The addition of a "C" plot, apparently to clear the decks of the Bashir/Ezri romance subplot, further interferes with momentum. Also, by cutting between two main plots and one subplot, the episode can't help but feel a bit choppy.

Still, most of the individual parts are good, with the Cardassia plot particularly strong, and the episode ends leaving the pieces in place for the final conflict. This leaves it as an overall good episode - Even if it is a bit too "busy" to be as good as it should be.


Overall Rating: 7/10.

Previous Episode: Extreme Measures
Next Episode: What You Leave Behind

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6-23. Profit and Lace.

Quark as a Ferengi female. Some things you just can't unsee.

THE PLOT

Quark is surprised at the arrival to the station of his mother, Ishka (Cecily Adams) and the Grand Nagus, Zek (Wallace Shawn). He's even more surprised when they tell him Zek has been deposed. At Ishka's prodding, he decided to revoke the Ferengi ban on women wearing clothing, thus allowing them full access to Ferengi society. The response was panic throughout the Ferengi Alliance, which has turned for deliverance to Zek's rival, the loathsome Brunt (Jeffrey Combs).

Zek and Ishka have a plan. They will contact every member of the Ferengi Commerce Authority, counting on gratitude for past aid to make them throw their support behind Zek. There's only one flaw: Ferengi society isn't built around gratitude, and most of the dignitaries hang up as soon as Zek's name is mentioned.

One influential member does agree to come meet with them, however: Nilva (Henry Gibson), founder of Sluggo Cola. His voice and profit margin are such that his support alone will be enough to return Zek to the throne. They are certain that a meeting with Ishka will convince Nilva of the wisdom of letting females into society. But before Nilva can arrive, Ishka gets into an argument with Quark - which ends in a heart attack, leaving her alive but in no fit state to meet anyone.

Which leads them to Plan B: If they don't have a brilliant Ferengi female to meet with Nilva, they will make one... Out of Quark!


CHARACTERS

Capt. Sisko: Just one episode ago, we saw Sisko trying to enlist Zek's help against the Dominion, yet here he doesn't even appear to notice that both Zek and his rival have arrived on the station. One can imagine an alternative, smarter version of the episode in which Sisko makes the pragmatic choice to try to win the support of Brunt, the apparent new Nagus, forced to ally with this loathsome toad in his scheming against Quark and Zek - Sort of a comedy counterpoint to In the Pale Moonlight. As it stands, Sisko is limited to a single scene in which he does nothing of interest.

Quark: As with all Quark-centric episodes, Armin Shimerman's performance is the greatest asset. The moment in which he stands up to the gloating Brunt, kicking him out of his bar with the only effective repetition of the episode's "acting Nagus" gag, sees him genuinely heroic... Just before he disappears into his quarters to lie in the fetal position. He trades venomous barbs with his mother, whose feminism he blames for Zek's downfall and his likely impending ruin - but when she collapses under the weight of his anger, he is horrified (though equally eager to hide his own culpability).

Brunt: Jeffrey Combs is deliciously malignant as Brunt, and one of the few genuinely good things about Profit and Lace is that it returns Brunt to his former status as a proper adversary. Watching Brunt swan around with the Nagus' stick in hand, gloating to his enemies as he plots their future ruin, it's obvious that the worst possible man has been put in charge of Ferengi society.

Grand Nagus: At least Zek isn't quite as pathetic here as he was in Ferengi Love Songs. Ishka may be the centerpiece of the plot to restore his position, but he's an active part of the plotting and scheming, rather than just a muddle-brained figurehead. I could have lived without the scenes of him leering at Leeta and, later, at Quark-as-a-woman, and anything that ever worked about this character has long since drained away... But he's easier to take here than in his last appearance.


THOUGHTS

As can probably be seen by this point, I do not in any way agree that Profit and Lace is the "worst episode ever" of Deep Space 9. It's not good, and more gags miss than hit. But it does offer a couple good performances, particularly by Shimerman and Combs, and at least reps an improvement over the previous Zek/Ishka horror, Ferengi Love Songs.

If that doesn't sound like a ringing endorsement... Well, it isn't. But I've only liked a couple of episodes featuring Zek, and I haven't like any in which Ishka had more than a cameo. So when I say I found this episode to be reasonably watchable... Well, let's say that was enough in itself to exceed my expectations.

The show does open on a particularly bad note. The teaser sees Quark sexually harass a pretty young employee, threatening to fire her if she does not perform Oo-Moxx on him. The scene has nothing to do with the plot, its only payoff an extremely feeble joke at the very end. It's there only to make Quark unlikable enough so that we'll want to see him humiliated - And since this isn't Quark's normal behavior, it feels as wrong for the character as it is uncomfortable to watch.

That scene aside, the first half is passable. The scene in which Quark, Rom, and Nog try to get members of the Ferengi Commerce Authority to come to the station, only to have every contact insult them and hang up, is briskly-edited and quite amusing. Brunt is presented at his most obnoxious, putting us firmly on Zek's side by default, and each scene manages to stack the odds just a little bit higher against Quark & company.

The second half is genuinely awful. I'm not sure there was much comic mileage out of "Quark in a dress" to start with, and there's not one fresh or original moment. Between Zek hitting on Quark and Nilva chasing Quark around a table in a way that was tired in silent comedies, it becomes borderline embarrassing.

So, yes: I'm definitely giving Profit and Lace a below average rating. Still, given its extraordinarily poor reputation, I was pleasantly surprised to find it watchable. As an hour of Deep Space 9, it's mediocre at best - and "mediocre" is generous. But it isn't torture to watch, and it is very far from the series' worst.


Overall Rating: 3/10.

Previous Episode: Valiant
Next Episode: Time's Orphan

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6-10. The Magnificent Ferengi.

Quark takes on the Dominion. Or as Rom puts it: "We'll all die!"

THE PLOT

Quark receives a message from the Grand Nagus: His mother, Ishka (Cecily Adams), has been captured by the Dominion. As if that wasn't bad enough, the Nagus has given Quark a directive - To personally rescue her.

Rom sensibly recommends they hire Naussican mercenaries to take on the task. But Quark is feeling slighted. The deeds of Starfleet officers get all the attention, while Quark's efforts on the station's behalf are all but ignored. That stokes his Ferengi pride, and he declares a course that strikes Rom as suicidal: To mount an all-Ferengi rescue mission.

Starfleet-trained Nog makes a valiant effort to make commandos out of a band of Ferengi outcasts, but it's clear that this group will never be able to get through Jem'Hadar soldiers. That's when Quark realizes that they must play to the strengths of the Ferengi. He needs to forget a military assault, and instead open a negotiation, using one of the few bargaining chips the station has to offer: The cowardly but slippery Keevan (Christopher Shea), the Vorta captured by Sisko months earlier.

Keevan is less than thrilled about being traded back to the Dominion. Vorta are supposed to commit suicide rather than allowing themselves to be taken prisoner - Meaning that the only welcome he can expect is a long and agonizing death...


CHARACTERS

Capt. Sisko: After Kira directly voices her support for Quark, Sisko grants permission for the Ferengi to use Keevan as a bargaining chip. Both Kira's recommendation and Sisko's agreement to give up a valuable prisoner demonstrate just how much their view of Quark has changed in light of his actions during the recent occupation.

Quark: Has always had an enormous sense of pride in being a Ferengi, which makes it believable that he wants to show that his people are capable of acts of heroism. Whatever else Quark may be, he is a natural leader. He doesn't come up with the specific ideas for the rescue. It is Rom who recognizes that they need to act like Ferengi to succeed, and it is Nog who comes up with the idea of fooling Yelgren (Iggy Pop), the Vorta in charge of trading Ishka for Keevan. But Quark is the one who keeps the group moving forward at every turn, and is the one who deals directly with Yelgren. He is the definite leader of this band of miscreants, and fully deserves it when his mother and brother express pride in him at the end.

Rom: Continues to follow his brother's lead, almost by default. He is able to steer Quark in the right direction - encouraging him to barter with the Dominion rather than try to fight, for example. But for the most part, he is there to support Quark in gathering his Magnificent Ferengi and in completing the mission. Rom can't lie to save his life, though, and almost destroys the entire exchange by letting slip that the reward promised by the Nagus is much larger than Quark is letting on.

Nog: Continually tries to execute the mission in the manner of a Starfleet military operation. He barks out orders, much to the scorn of the other Ferengi, and is taken aback when Quark gets his band to move "on the double" by promising latinum. Rom expresses pride in him, exclaiming, "My son, the soldier!" Quark is simply disgusted: "They've ruined him."

Brunt: No longer Liquidator, in the wake of his failed attempt to unseat the Grand Nagus, Brunt is now powerless enough to actually turn to Quark. Not surprisingly, Quark's first inclination is to tell his one-time nemesis where to shove it, but Brunt has something the rest of them do not: A ship. It's thin justification for adding Brunt to the mix; I find it hard to believe Quark couldn't lay his hands on a ship on very short notice, and he certainly could do so once Sisko gave the mission his blessing. But Jeffrey Combs is so much fun, I can't regret it. I'm just sorry that Weyoun couldn't have been in the episode as well, so that we could have had a double-dose of his two great DS9 villains.

Keevan: The memorably despicable Vorta from Rocks and Shoals reappears here. He's still driven by a desire to save his own skin, which now means resisting the attempts to trade him back to the Dominion. He tries to talk the Ferengi out of completing the trade, noting that Yelgren will certainly kill them all either before or after the hostage exchange. When that doesn't work, he attempts to flee - an attempt thwarted only by Quark's foresight in having Rom disengage key ship functions. Keevan's final words of the episode are a perfectly disgusted and, in context, hilarious sigh of: "I hate Ferengi!"


THOUGHTS

Readers of my reviews know that I have a rocky relationship with Ferengi episodes. I've enjoyed some individual pieces, such as Prophet Motive and Bar Association, but have found many others (such as anything involving Quark's mother) to be tedious and unfunny.

Even so, I found myself looking forward to The Magnificent Ferengi. It's an episode with a good reputation, scripted by the reliable Ira Steven Behr and Hans Beimler. Besides, the notion of almost all of the series' recurring Ferengi banding together for a mission against the Dominion is irresistible.

Fortunately, the episode easily lives up to its reputation. It is fast-paced, clever, and very funny. While the recurring Ferengi supporting characters only get enough time to establish themselves as "types," each does get a chance to amuse. I particularly enjoyed Leck (Hamilton Camp), a Ferengi psycopath who acts as an "Eliminator," who appalls Quark and Rom - not because he kills, but because he cares more for the challenge of the kill than for the money he is paid to do it. Brunt and Gaila (Josh Pais), Quark's gunrunning cousin, return, and both have suffered for their past encounters with Quark in ways that make them fit into this episode, but that are also entirely consistent with where we last saw them. Rom and Nog both get plenty of fun moments, while Quark makes as engaging an anti-hero as ever.

The snappy pace is a big key to this show's success. Unlike Ferengi Love Songs or Family Business, this script zips along, piling one complication on top of another. There's a constant forward momentum, with no wasted scenes and no chance for the action to drag. The gags are worked seamlessly into a tight, expertly-structured narrative; and while some have found the final gag involving Keevan and a bulkhead to be in bad taste, I have to admit to laughing uproariously at this final indignity visited on a man who is, after all, one of the most despicable recurring characters in Trek history.

I could carp about Iggy Pop's casting, as he gives one of the weakest performances on this show in recent memory... but even there, his low voice and bemused attitude somehow "fit." And what can be said against an episode where even Ishka didn't annoy me?

All in all, while this doesn't quite live up to the greatest Quark episodes, such as The House of Quark and Little Green Men, this episode remains a sprightly delight. Highly recommended.


Overall Rating: 8/10.

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