7-24. The Dogs of War.

Kira, Damar, and Garak watch helplessly as their rebellion dies.

THE PLOT

Kira has rejoined Damar and Garak in time for a rendezvous with resistance fighters on Cardassia Prime. But the meeting is a trap, and the three find themselves beaming down just in time to witness Cardassians being massacred by Jem'Hadar forces. They manage to escape notice, and hide with Mila (Julianna McCarthy), the one-time housekeeper of Garak's Obsidian Order mentor. But trapped on a hostile world, they are helpless to act as they witness broadcasts of the destruction of Damar's entire rebellion.

Back on Deep Space 9, Quark receives a transmission from Zek. The old man has finally decided to step down as Grand Nagus. The communication is filled with static, but one message comes through loud and clear. Zek has settled on his successor - Quark!


CHARACTERS

Capt. Sisko: Near the end of the episode, Kasidy informs him that she's pregnant. Avery Brooks is wonderful here, shifting through a series of emotions ranging from worry to joy to embarrassment at having forgotten his "injection." As he reassures Kasidy, we can almost see him mentally picturing his future family, much as he painstakingly planned out his future house in Penumbra. Though joy seems to win out with Ben in the scene, I suspect the Prophets' warning is about to hit him hard.

Col. Kira: Another strong performance by Nana Visitor, who conveys Kira's terror of being captured by Cardassians during the opening ambush. There's a note of panic in her voice as she insists they have to get away, which fits perfectly with her background - Kira has seen firsthand what it is to be a prisoner of the Cardassians. Even when they are in hiding, her main thought is to escape from Cardassia, with Garak having to talk reason to her.

Quark: "I won't preside over the demise of Ferengi civilisation, not me! The line has to be drawn here. This far and no further!" Quark stands up for traditional Ferengi values - greed and exploitation - using the same words Picard used to rail against the Borg in First Contact. An inside joke for Trek fans, but it works because it fits perfectly with Quark's character. He has defended Ferengi society throughout the series, from his insistence to Sisko that Ferengi are nothing like humans - "We're better!" - to his disgust at his mother's wearing clothes and running businesses. He's on the wrong side... But there's a certain cockeyed dignity to his final, anti-heroic stand against progress.

Damar: This dour man was always an unlikely choice as a folk hero, and even he seems disconcerted at the divide between who he actually is and the legend building up around his name. Ultimately, the thirst he sees in his own people is what drives him to take up the ill-fitting mantle of rebel leader... And speaking of stirring speeches, Damar's heroic end speech is all the better for the sense that he'd rather not be the one giving it. He would rather be helping the resistance instead of leading it (Being Dukat's second-in-command was almost certainly his happiest time)... But there's no one else, and so he has to act to save his society from its demise.

Odo: In only one scene - But it's a good one, as he expresses his outrage at the Federation's tolerance of Section 31's actions in creating the Changeling disease. He acidly observes that Starfleet publicly deplores such tactics, but is happy enough to reap the benefits. He does promise Sisko that he won't reveal the cure to the Founders of his own accord. Still, the scene - which doesn't connect to any of this episode's story strands - is fairly obviously setting up his role in the finale.

Brunt: The final appearance of Liquidator Brunt (I'm going out on a limb and guessing he won't be featured in the finale). He spends most of the episode shamelessly brown-nosing presumed future Nagus Quark. He doesn't even pretend to deny it: "It's never too early to suck up to the boss." He's also the one who clues Quark into the reforms that have taken place on Ferenginar, including "wage benefits for the poor, retirement benefits for the aged, health care," and - most shocking of all - "the T word... taxes!" Jeffrey Combs is a delight as always, and it's a rare pleasure to get to see him play both of his recurring roles in the same episode (though, regretfully, the series appears set to end without ever putting Weyoun and Brunt in the same scene at the same time).


THOUGHTS

The Dogs of War is Avery Brooks' final episode as director, and it's a consequential one. The "A" plot, following Kira and Garak as they nudge Damar into a new kind of resistance, is terrific. The script, by Rene Echevarria and Ronald D. Moore, carries all the strengths of both writers, with sharp characterizations fusing with good dialogue and meaningful plot turns. We see the trio move from shock, to despair, to finally fighting back, and everything the characters do arises naturally from who they are. Brooks' greatest strength as a director has always been his ability to work with actors, and he gets great work from all of the cast.

That last is true of the "B" plot as well - Heck, even Ishka and Zek aren't annoying (in part thanks to being used sparingly). As someone who has often criticized the Ferengi episodes, I will admit to finding some enjoyment. The script offers some genuinely funny moments and even allows Quark a perverse dignity in his defiant stand for unbridled greed. There's just one problem: It belongs in a different episode!

There is a decent attempt to draw a parallel between Damar and Quark, two men standing defiant against changes that they see destroying their respective societies. But even so, the Cardassia plot and the Ferengi plot don't truly fit in the same show. And with the Ferengi plot occupying most of the screen time in the middle, it throws off the sense of jeopardy that should pervade Kira and Damar's story. I've said this about other episodes in the final ten, but I strongly feel that these two stories should have been seprated out into their own episodes.

The addition of a "C" plot, apparently to clear the decks of the Bashir/Ezri romance subplot, further interferes with momentum. Also, by cutting between two main plots and one subplot, the episode can't help but feel a bit choppy.

Still, most of the individual parts are good, with the Cardassia plot particularly strong, and the episode ends leaving the pieces in place for the final conflict. This leaves it as an overall good episode - Even if it is a bit too "busy" to be as good as it should be.


Overall Rating: 7/10.

Previous Episode: Extreme Measures
Next Episode: What You Leave Behind

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7-12. The Emperor's New Cloak.

Ezri, from the Mirror Universe.

THE PLOT

Quark receives an unexpected visitor to his quarters: Ezri. But it's not the Ezri he knows, but instead one from the mirror universe. She's come with a ransom: Grand Nagus Zek has been taken prisoner by the Cardassian-Klingon Alliance. The price of his freedom is a cloaking device. If it's not delivered soon, Regent Worf will execute the Ferengi leader.

Quark and Rom are able to steal the cloaking device from a Klingon Bird of Prey with little difficulty. But once in the Mirror Universe, they are immediately captured by the Terran rebels, who are almost as bloodthirsty as the Regent. Even if they manage to escape with the cloak, they have yet another problem: The near-certainty that the Regent will simply take the cloak and then kill them all!


CHARACTERS

Capt. Sisko: Only in the episode for a throwaway appearance, but even that shows how strong a working relationship he and Martok have developed.

Kira, The Intendant: Sadly, this episode continues in line with the character's previous appearance, confirming that the once compelling Intendant has become little more than a tight costume and a set of mannerisms. This reaches a low ebb when she is allowed to escape with not only her life, but also her freedom. Why? "Because I owe her that much." Or because the writers have become too fond of their pet monster to bring her story to the firm close she deserves.

Quark: Though he still wants to believe that Ezri is or will become interested in him, he is too good an observer of human nature to deny that she's responding when Bashir flirts with her. We see once again that he is very devoted to Ferengi traditions, from his praying/bribing of the Ferengi deities to his determination to rescue Zek. He admits to Mirror Ezri that he doesn't actually believe there will be any reward or even appreciation for his actions - He puts himself in harm's way for the Nagus simply because Zek is the Nagus.

Ezri: Mirror Ezri is a mercenary,guided by no cause other than her next payment. She is puzzled when Quark explains his loyalty to Zek... Right up until the Intendant kills a friend of hers, at which point she discovers that she also feels a sense of loyalty to those she's connected with. The friendship that develops between this Ezri and Quark is one of the episode's more enjoyable aspects, and I wish more time was spent with the two of them and less time spent with the Intendant, the Regent, and Garak.

Garak: Speaking of whom... It's a sad day when Garak is the worst thing in an episode. The Mirror Garak of Crossover was vicious but still smart - Probably pretty close to what "our" Garak was, back in his Obsidian Order days. Here, Mirror Garak is just a bloodthirsty idiot. When Quark uses the real Garak as a model to mock him with, he's not just playing for time - He's right! The real Garak would run circles around this episode's Mirror Garak without even exerting any mental energy (Regent Worf is just as bad, and too uninteresting to waste a paragraph on - Suffice to say, Mirror Worf is an imbecile. Period.)

Zek: I'm guessing/hoping this is Zek's final appearance, and the character remains largely grating. It's a shame - Wallace Shawn was well-cast in the role, and in his early appearances Zek was reasonably engaging. But the Zek of episodes like Rules of Acquisition and Prophet Motive was genuinely shrewd, using Quark as an expendable tool. Ever since Ferengi Love Songs, he has been reduced to a lecherous/senile old man parody. Here, we see him escaping to the Mirror Universe to enjoy illicit oo-mox, which he begs Quark and Rom not to reveal to their mother because it would "break her heart." Which we're apparently supposed to find funny. Maybe this is the Mirror Zek, and the real Zek disappeared around Season Three?


THOUGHTS

Too much of the above reads like I hated The Emperor's New Cloak, which really isn't true. I do find it a little disconcerting that the DS9 Mirror Universe arc, so compelling in Crossover, Through the Looking Glass, and Shattered Mirror, ends up being wrapped up in a Ferengi comedy. But against my expectations, I mostly enjoyed this despite its shortcomings.

I was entertained by Mirror Ezri, particularly by the scenes between her and Quark. I also found myself laughing, often against my better judgment, at several of the gags. The Regent trying on a new gauntlet, then calling over an underling to test it by punching him in the face, was particularly funny. Other choice bits include: Mirror Brunt being genuinely honest, honorable, and kind; Rom's satisfaction at announcing his successful sabotage; and (for all my irritation at the portrayal of Garak) Quark's jibes at Garak about how much more formidable his Prime Universe counterpart is.

It's just a shame that all of the villains are portrayed as idiots. The Regent is a gullible moron, who never even considers the possibility of treachery from the Ferengi. The Intendant has flattened into a two-dimensional set of mannerisms, purring seductively at everyone and killing a supporting character at one point just to remind us that she's evil. And Garak is so pathetically-characterized, the other two almost look good by comparison. These villains, once genuinely strong foils for Sisko and Kira, no longer even seem worthy of Quark and Rom!

But I have to admit that I still had fun watching. The episode is a guilty pleasure, but I wasn't bored by it. And I have to admit, the silliness makes a contrast from the Dominion plot, which with the end of the series now so close should be kicking into high gear again soon.


Overall Rating: 6/10.

Previous Episode: Prodigal Daughter
Next Episode: Field of Fire

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6-23. Profit and Lace.

Quark as a Ferengi female. Some things you just can't unsee.

THE PLOT

Quark is surprised at the arrival to the station of his mother, Ishka (Cecily Adams) and the Grand Nagus, Zek (Wallace Shawn). He's even more surprised when they tell him Zek has been deposed. At Ishka's prodding, he decided to revoke the Ferengi ban on women wearing clothing, thus allowing them full access to Ferengi society. The response was panic throughout the Ferengi Alliance, which has turned for deliverance to Zek's rival, the loathsome Brunt (Jeffrey Combs).

Zek and Ishka have a plan. They will contact every member of the Ferengi Commerce Authority, counting on gratitude for past aid to make them throw their support behind Zek. There's only one flaw: Ferengi society isn't built around gratitude, and most of the dignitaries hang up as soon as Zek's name is mentioned.

One influential member does agree to come meet with them, however: Nilva (Henry Gibson), founder of Sluggo Cola. His voice and profit margin are such that his support alone will be enough to return Zek to the throne. They are certain that a meeting with Ishka will convince Nilva of the wisdom of letting females into society. But before Nilva can arrive, Ishka gets into an argument with Quark - which ends in a heart attack, leaving her alive but in no fit state to meet anyone.

Which leads them to Plan B: If they don't have a brilliant Ferengi female to meet with Nilva, they will make one... Out of Quark!


CHARACTERS

Capt. Sisko: Just one episode ago, we saw Sisko trying to enlist Zek's help against the Dominion, yet here he doesn't even appear to notice that both Zek and his rival have arrived on the station. One can imagine an alternative, smarter version of the episode in which Sisko makes the pragmatic choice to try to win the support of Brunt, the apparent new Nagus, forced to ally with this loathsome toad in his scheming against Quark and Zek - Sort of a comedy counterpoint to In the Pale Moonlight. As it stands, Sisko is limited to a single scene in which he does nothing of interest.

Quark: As with all Quark-centric episodes, Armin Shimerman's performance is the greatest asset. The moment in which he stands up to the gloating Brunt, kicking him out of his bar with the only effective repetition of the episode's "acting Nagus" gag, sees him genuinely heroic... Just before he disappears into his quarters to lie in the fetal position. He trades venomous barbs with his mother, whose feminism he blames for Zek's downfall and his likely impending ruin - but when she collapses under the weight of his anger, he is horrified (though equally eager to hide his own culpability).

Brunt: Jeffrey Combs is deliciously malignant as Brunt, and one of the few genuinely good things about Profit and Lace is that it returns Brunt to his former status as a proper adversary. Watching Brunt swan around with the Nagus' stick in hand, gloating to his enemies as he plots their future ruin, it's obvious that the worst possible man has been put in charge of Ferengi society.

Grand Nagus: At least Zek isn't quite as pathetic here as he was in Ferengi Love Songs. Ishka may be the centerpiece of the plot to restore his position, but he's an active part of the plotting and scheming, rather than just a muddle-brained figurehead. I could have lived without the scenes of him leering at Leeta and, later, at Quark-as-a-woman, and anything that ever worked about this character has long since drained away... But he's easier to take here than in his last appearance.


THOUGHTS

As can probably be seen by this point, I do not in any way agree that Profit and Lace is the "worst episode ever" of Deep Space 9. It's not good, and more gags miss than hit. But it does offer a couple good performances, particularly by Shimerman and Combs, and at least reps an improvement over the previous Zek/Ishka horror, Ferengi Love Songs.

If that doesn't sound like a ringing endorsement... Well, it isn't. But I've only liked a couple of episodes featuring Zek, and I haven't like any in which Ishka had more than a cameo. So when I say I found this episode to be reasonably watchable... Well, let's say that was enough in itself to exceed my expectations.

The show does open on a particularly bad note. The teaser sees Quark sexually harass a pretty young employee, threatening to fire her if she does not perform Oo-Moxx on him. The scene has nothing to do with the plot, its only payoff an extremely feeble joke at the very end. It's there only to make Quark unlikable enough so that we'll want to see him humiliated - And since this isn't Quark's normal behavior, it feels as wrong for the character as it is uncomfortable to watch.

That scene aside, the first half is passable. The scene in which Quark, Rom, and Nog try to get members of the Ferengi Commerce Authority to come to the station, only to have every contact insult them and hang up, is briskly-edited and quite amusing. Brunt is presented at his most obnoxious, putting us firmly on Zek's side by default, and each scene manages to stack the odds just a little bit higher against Quark & company.

The second half is genuinely awful. I'm not sure there was much comic mileage out of "Quark in a dress" to start with, and there's not one fresh or original moment. Between Zek hitting on Quark and Nilva chasing Quark around a table in a way that was tired in silent comedies, it becomes borderline embarrassing.

So, yes: I'm definitely giving Profit and Lace a below average rating. Still, given its extraordinarily poor reputation, I was pleasantly surprised to find it watchable. As an hour of Deep Space 9, it's mediocre at best - and "mediocre" is generous. But it isn't torture to watch, and it is very far from the series' worst.


Overall Rating: 3/10.

Previous Episode: Valiant
Next Episode: Time's Orphan

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5-20. Ferengi Love Songs.

Quark's mother, in love with the Grand Nagus.

THE PLOT

With his bar closed due to a vole infestation, Quark falls into a deep depression. At Rom's urging, he returns home to Ferenginar, much to the dismay of his mother, Ishka (Cecily Adams, taking over for Andrea Martin). He has barely arrived before he discovers someone lurking in his closet: Grand Naguz Zek (Wallace Shawn), who is in a secret relationship with Ishka.

Quark senses an opportunity to use the relationship to have his FCA license restored. When the Nagus refuses, however, Quark falls under the venomous sway of Liquidator Brunt (Jeffrey Combs). Brunt promises to issue a new business license if Quark sabotages the relationship between Zek and Ishka. It's a despicable act, one Quark is all too happy to commit - until he realizes that Zek is slipping into senility, and that it is actually his mother's advice that is enabling the Nagus to hold the Ferengi government together.

Meanwhile, Rom and Leeta announce their marriage. Rom agrees to a traditional Bajoran ceremony. But when some ill-advised words from Chief O'Brien lead him to think that Leeta should agree to some Ferengi marital traditions as well, he picks the wrong one: a prenuptial agreement that would deny her the right to hold any property whatever. When Rom insists, Leeta announces that the wedding is off!


CHARACTERS

Capt. Sisko: Just to add insult to the injury that is this terrible episode, we get a quick aside in which Sisko is mediating between Worf and Odo. The issue at hand involves Klingon General Martok's difficulties adjusting to life on Deep Space 9. It's a fun little scene, well-performed by all three - and enormously frustrating, because that would have been a much better plot than either of the ones actually follows.

Quark: We discover here that he's actually miserable in the wake of the FCA blacklisting and hates his life... Which would ring far truer if he hadn't seemed emotionally fine in every other episode this season. Quark is horrified to admit that he has any sort of conscience, despite many previous episode showing him doing decent things in full awareness of what he's doing. But then, this isn't the real Quark, this isn't the Quark who stood up to Sisko for his people being better than humans or the Quark who wrestled with a hard-fought internal battle between profit and saving innocent lives just two episodes ago. No, this is Quark as caricature, reduced to a joke character to further some bad comedy. Armin Shimerman does his best, as always, but there's just no saving the material.

Grand Nagus: While I was never a big fan of Zek in previous episodes, there at least was a bit of an edge to him. He was genuinely shrewd and manipulative, which kept him from being an entirely "safe" comedy character. This episode reduces him to exactly that. Giving Zek Ferengi Alzheimer's isn't entirely without merit as a plot turn - but not when that concept is used solely as an excuse for "senile old man" humor, as is the case here. Making matters worse is the portrayal of the love affair between Zek and Ishka, with the two cooing at each other in a manner that's not simply undignified, but leaves both characters downright infantilized. I never looked forward to a Zek appearance before; but now, I suspect I'll be outright dreading future guest spots.


THOUGHTS

After Business As Usual followed in the footsteps of some solid Season Four offerings, showing how enjoyable a Quark-centric episode with a bit of edge and bite can be, Ferengi Love Songs helpfully reminds us just how tedious and soul-sucking a toothless Ferengi "comedy" can be. We revisit Quark's mother, last seen played by Andrea Martin in Season Three's dreary Family Business. The change of actress has not made the character any more endearing, though in fairness to actress Cecily Adams, the problem isn't her - I just find the character to be entirely grating.

The episode really is just two jokes, alternating back and forth: two old Ferengi in love (because old people in love = comedy, particularly when they act like children), and the Nagus slipping into senility (because real life senility is such comedy gold). The "B" plot is actually even worse, with Rom attempting to push Leeta into being a proper Ferengi wife... which predictable results, only to reach a predictable conclusion.

The ever-reliable Jeffrey Combs manages to inject a few chuckles into his too-brief appearances as Brunt. Even Brunt manages to be entirely neutered by this episode, though, reduced to hiding in Quark's closet while practicing his evil laugh. The end of the episode has Quark treating his threats as a joke.  What a way to treat the first and only genuinely menacing Ferengi in all of Star Trek: de-clawing him for the sake of a few cheap (and unfunny) gags.

All told, I would rank Ferengi Love Songs as the worst episode of the season. Yes, in my opinion, even worse than Let He Who Is Without Sin... I was reduced to watching this in installments, simply because I could only take ten minutes or so of it at a time, and I will be very happy to never go anywhere near this episode, ever again.


Overall Rating: 1/10.

Previous Episode: Ties of Blood and Water
Next Episode: Soldiers of the Empire

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3-16. Prophet Motive.

Quark and Rom are appalled by the
Nagus (Wallace Shawn)'s latest scheme.

THE PLOT

Grand Nagus Zek (Wallace Shawn) returns to Deep Space 9, moving into Quark's quarters to complete his great work: Revising the Ferengi Rules of Acquisition! Quark is literally atremble with anticipation to benefit from the Nagus' wisdom. Which makes it all the more shocking when he opens the book to read the first rule and discovers the following sentence:

"Rule #1: If they want their money back... Give it to them!"

The Nagus has become a philanthropist. He is setting up a Ferengi Benevolent Association, with Quark and Rom to act as co-chairs. As Zek determines to "move beyond greed" and focus on helping the needy, Quark decides that something must be horribly wrong. His suspicions seem to be confirmed when Zek announces that he will be presenting the Bajoran people with a gift - one of the missing orbs of prophecy!


CHARACTERS

Commander Sisko: Supportive Dr. Bashir's nomination for the prestigious Carrington Award. Otherwise mostly absent in this episode, though Quark does express respect for "the Sisko" when talking with the Prophets near the end.

Quark: When Zek expresses his new philanthropic philosophy, Quark at first believes this must be some part of a larger scheme. As it becomes clear that the Nagus's charity is genuine, Quark decides something must be wrong. He insists on having Bashir check Zek out for illness or mental incapacity. When Zek talks of a "gift" for the Bajorans, Quark investigates further - something which ultimately leads him to the truth. All his business acumen shows itself in his scene with the Prophets as he sizes up their weakness, moving from one "sales pitch" to another until he finds one that actually strikes a chord.

Dr. Bashir: He seems less than pleased at Dax having put his name forward for the Carrington Award. He then assumes a fatalistic posture, insisting that he is too young to have any chance of winning. At the same time, he continues to work on his acceptance speech and is anything but happy when he inevitably loses.

Grand Nagus Zek: Wallace Shawn's third appearance as Zek is the best yet. The contrast between Zek's normal foul-tempered shrewdness and his exuberant joy in most of this episode is striking, and Shawn throws himself into both variants of Zek with abandon. In a way, this is like A Christmas Carol in reverse. Zek has always been a Scrooge, but now is a decent and giving man. Through Quark's intervention, he finds his inner miser again.


THOUGHTS

Rene Auberjonois takes a turn at directing, and does a pretty good job of it. After the last comedy episode directed by a cast member, I was actively dreading this one. But Prophet Motive is a delight. It's all the things comedy Trek episodes usually aren't: fast, clever, consistent with both itself and the larger universe of the show, and - just as a side note - very, very funny.

I love the way the episode turns morality on its head. The script, cannily put together by DS9 stalwarts Ira Steven Behr and Robert Hewitt Wolfe, makes us really root for Quark. Like him, we want to know what has brought about this change in Zek. When Quark finds the answer and travels into the wormhole to set things right, it's a heroic moment. His success is a triumph, and we cheer for the tag as Rom shares a personal secret with Quark.

...But surely we shouldn't? The horrible thing that Quark is setting right is... decency. This changed Zek is setting out to do good in the universe, and he has the resources to do quite a lot of legitimate good. This is what Quark is fighting against. Quark's "Hero Moment" will mean that people who may have been saved will starve, that people who may have had a chance at a decent life will live in squalor. The episode doesn't shy away from this, either. Quark stops Zek just at the point when Zek is about to help a planet that has suffered devastation due to solar flares. And yet we laugh, even cheer, as Quark and Rom carry Zek through the corridors in a bag. Quark is standing for the integrity of venality - and the script makes us culpable, because we want him to succeed and this "new Zek" to fail.

In short, the episode makes us into Ferengi while watching it. And far from burying it for this, I come to praise it.  Making us fully complicit in Quark's stand for greed and selfishness?  That's this episode's greatest triumph.


Overall Rating: 8/10

Previous Episode: Destiny

Next Episode: Visionary

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2-7. Rules of Acquisition

Quark negotiates with the Dosi.

THE PLOT

Grand Nagus Zek (Wallace Shawn) returns to the station with an opportunity for Quark. The Ferengi expansion into the Gamma Quadrant is about to begin, and Zek plans to establish a foothold through a negotiation with the Dosi. He wants Quark to be his chief negotiator - an opportunity for profit such as Quark has never before encountered.

But Pel (Helene Udy), a new employee at Quark's bar who has gained Quark's eye by having memorized every Rule of Acquisition, sees a potential problem with the Nagus' deal. Pel points out that if the negotiations fail, then Quark will be made the scapegoat. Quark decides he could use some help, and enlists the ambitious young Ferengi to act as his assistant.

But Pel hides a secret, one which could turn Quark's advantage upside-down...


CHARACTERS

Commander Sisko: Though he only appears briefly, he does get one very good scene opposite Zek. He lays out for Zek that if negotiations with the Dosi are going to occur on his station, then he wants those negotiations to be honest. He also stops Zek from turning his offer to Kira and Bajor into a sales opportunity, which earns him a compliment from the Nagus on his negotiating skills.

Dax: Over several lifetimes, she has developed a fondness for the Ferengi. She acknowledges all of Kira's statements about them. They are untrustworthy, they are misogynistic. But she admires their relentless pursuit of what they want, whatever they want, and she tells Kira that "they can be a lot of fun" - provided you remember to never turn your back on them.

Quark: The first half largely sees Quark reacting nervously to the responsibility he's been given. Once he follows the Dosi to the Gamma Quadrant to force the negotiations, he becomes much more assertive. He earns the respect of the Dosi by refusing to take "No" for an answer, and he earns the Nagus' respect as well. When Pel's secret is revealed, Quark stands up to the Nagus to allow Pel to move on, turning the Nagus' own words back on him to secure a reasonable resolution.

The Nagus: Wallace Shawn is a comedy treasure - something you wouldn't have realized watching The Nagus, an episode which cast him perfectly as the Ferengi Godfather, only to proceed to give him nothing funny to do. This episode makes up for some of that. The Nagus shows his shrewdness in an early scene with Sisko and Kira, as he makes Kira an offer for Bajor which immediately sets the major back a step. Quark and Pel eventually realize that the Nagus is hiding another agenda, as well, one which shows him as a long-term thinker... at least by Ferengi standards.


THOUGHTS

Rules of Acquisition is a direct sequel to Season One's The Nagus. I enjoyed this episode considerably more. Which isn't actually saying much - The Nagus had potential, but was too slow-paced to fulfill it. It ended up being one of only a handful of Deep Space 9 episodes I've disliked to date.

Rules of Acquisition is much better.  It's also an important episode for the series' continuity. This is the episode that introduces The Dominion. "If you want to do business in the Gamma Quadrant, you have to do business with the Dominion," one of the Dosi tells Quark. We don't learn what the Dominion is in this episode, but the Nagus tells Quark that this entity is "the key to the Gamma Quadrant."

As a story, the episode itself is interesting, though not entirely successful. The comedy mostly works, thanks to strong performances by Armin Shimerman, Helene Udy, and Wallace Shawn. But it's not all played for laughs, as so many Ferengi episodes are. A twist involving Pel turns what looks to be a comedy episode into something a bit more serious, as issues of culture, identity, and bigotry are touched upon.

The comedy doesn't always sit comfortably alongside the more serious elements, though. Some of the pacing is uneven, particularly in the show's second half, and the subplot involving Kira and the Nagus appears to exist solely to take up some extra screentime as it goes nowhere and is quietly dropped at about the 30 minute mark. Much is also made of Dax's bond with Ferengi culture, an aspect of her character which seems to have been invented solely for this episode.

Still, it's an entertaining piece which attempts more than most Ferengi episodes have done. Worth viewing once, though I doubt it's one I'd rush to revisit any time soon.


Overall Rating: 6/10

Previous Episode: Melora

Next Episode: Necessary Evil

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1-11. The Nagus

Introducing Zek (Wallace Shawn),
Grand Nagus of the Ferengi.

THE PLOT

Quark receives a distinguished visitor: Zek (Wallace Shawn), Grand Nagus of the Ferengi. With the Nagus' arrival, Quark fears the worst - that the discovery of the wormhole has led the Ferengi leader to decide to "acquire" his bar. But Zek only wants the bar only on loan, with Quark serving as host for a Ferengi conference to discuss the opportunities for profit that the Gamma Quadrant has opened to them.

At the conference, the Nagus drops a bombshell. "I'm old," he proclaims, "I'm just not as greedy as I used to be." He then names his successor, a Ferengi whose avarice will exceed his own.

Quark!


CHARACTERS

Commander Sisko: Is uncomfortable with his son's friendship with Nog, whom he sees as a bad influence.  However, he's smart enough to know that if he were to try to forbid it, he would put a strain on his own relationship with Jake. He wants to trust Jake and leave his son free to make his own choices. But when Jake begins missing his curfew to spend time with Nog, Sisko does go looking for him - and what he finds leads to one of the better nonverbal bits of acting Avery Brooks has done.

Quark: I question the placement of this episode right after Move Along Home, as it effectively gives us two Quark-centric episodes in a row. There are really no new sides shown to Quark's character here, as most of his reactions (greed, fear of physical harm, bantering with Odo) are pretty much the same ones we saw in the last episode. Still, Shimerman is always fun, and his performance helps to redeem a rather weak script.


THOUGHTS

Comedy Trek episodes are tough. Sometimes, the actors really enjoy a break from acting ludicrously seriously and respond to cutting loose. With a sharp script that balances the comedy elements against the need for the characters and setting to stay true to themselves, the results can be delightful. Other times, the silliness can overwhelm the series' own confines and result in a self-parody.

Then there are cases like The Nagus, a comedy episode that doesn't in any way stretch the limits of the show's characters or settings... but which also isn't particularly funny. Or interesting, for that matter. A few amusing bits aside (Quark's reaction to treachery, for example), this episode is a flat, dull exercise in lifelessness.

Pacing is a severe problem. The main situation to milk for comedy here is Quark acting as Grand Nagus. That's the episode's big concept - Quark as ruler of the Ferengi, dodging assassination attempts - and yet it takes almost half the episode to even get to that point! Once reached, the idea isn't played for even a fraction of its potential. What if multiple parties were trying to assassinate Quark, rather than just the one individual revealed at the end? That would have more comic potential, and allow the possibility of a climax in which Quark believes himself safe before stupidly walking into the ending trap.

The episode also commits the cardinal sin of wasting Wallace Shawn. Wallace Shawn as the ruler of the Ferengi seems like a natural - Yet he has little to do, and is only slightly funnier than the actor playing his son.

In the end, The Nagus is a grand sludge. It's visually uninteresting, slow-paced, and for all its attempts at humor, it's mostly unfunny. Disheartening, in a series that has maintained relatively consistent quality, that this installment ended up reminding me of one of those horrible early first-season Next Generation episodes.


Rating: 3/10.

Previous Episode: Move Along Home
Next Episode: Vortex


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